Greentext Does: Dandy Boy Adventures

According to the description given by the dev Dandy Boy Adventures, or DBA as I’ll be calling it, is an adventure game, dating sim, and…RPG? I mean the dev says it’s an RPG and you “role play” as someone having sex but really it’s an RPG in the same way that Razor Freestyle Scooter for the PS1 is an RPG. In that it isn’t. Despite that it’s still fun enough that I’ve been anxiously awaiting the latest update and now that it’s out and you can plow your mother I’m ready to talk about it.

Let’s get the boring, back of the box, generalized game description bullshit out of the way first. In DBA you traverse a large town map running errands, doing sliding block puzzles for money, buying items to progress the plot and give as gifts, and attending school. It has some pretty great music which can range from absolute bangers to minecraft-OST levels of relaxation. At it’s current state (.4) it has a decent amount of smut. Enough that I never felt like I was in any particularly long dry spell during my 4 hours of playing. Also it can run seamlessly in fullscreen. So that’s nice.

The world itself is pretty large with a decent amount of secrets and goodies to find but unfortunately at the moment a lot of areas are gated off due to ongoing game development construction. It’s all presented in an excellent 80’s style and so many of the characters exude this level of personality just with how they look. Unfortunately that charm present in the game’s art direction doesn’t extend to the quests you’ll be doing. They’re all pretty much as bland as you can get. Gather 12 mushrooms for X and she’ll suck you off. Go buy 5 beers for Y and you can plow her asshole, that kind of thing. Admittedly sometimes these quests will serve as in introduction to a cool character but most of the time it just feels like fluff. Although there is one exception! On the computer there is an excellent Castlevania/Ghosts ‘n Goblins style looking game that’s a ton of fun. The controls are complete ass but once you remap them it’s great. If the money making mechanics and other tasks were more like this instead of just a wonky isometric version of Sokoban than it would be a much more enjoyable experience.

The porn itself? Pretty great. There’s not really too much to it but it’s decent looking and follows your standard smut progression. Accidental nudity to flashing to handjob to blowjob/titfuck to sex to anal. The game does that thing where it lets you define relationships between you and other characters to get around being in hot water for having incest in your game so don’t worry. That older woman and younger girl living with you who have the same neon pink hair color as you are your “land lady” and “Roommate”. Also can we talk about the cuck content? At one point, yes, your mother land lady had a scene where she was forced to suck someone off but the community complained. What did the dev do? Did they make it optional or something? No. They patched it out. Absolutely based madlads actively putting cuck content into their games just so they can patch it out later.

Now. Let’s get onto my biggest complaint about this game and the reason I have blown through 30 save files in a 3 hour game. There is no option to replay scenes. None. The only way you can do it is by saving before each scene. Yes, it does have a gallery but that has 2 problems. Firstly the gallery only has the actual CGs while a lot of the game’s smut is made just using the regular character images but nude. Confused by what I mean? Take a look at this.

The image on the right will be captured in the gallery viewer. The image on the left will not. Now! I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Greentext my guy. You’re usually pretty resourceful when it comes to this kind of thing. Can’t you extract the images on the left from the game’s files and view them there?” Well I can but there’s a problem. Games like this typically don’t have separate sprites for characters with different facial expressions. Instead they have a sprite of the body and head and a separate one for the actual face which they’ll swap in and out as the character changes expressions. This means that without spending 3 hours stitching together scenes from body poses and facial expressions I’m not going to get to replay these scenes without making a save.

To close, the game has pretty decent writing and a really nice art direction but the relatively boring moment to moment gameplay and lack of a good way to replay scenes means this isn’t something you’re going to be wanting to replay from the start each time a new update comes out. Despite that I’d still suggest giving it a spin and trying it out for yourself. As always it can be found for free here and if you’d like to support the dev you can visit their Patreon here.

Ahh yes. Porn

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